Everyone in the lifestyle should consider creating and sharing their own lifestyle bucket list.

Sex Bucket List

Join Cindy & James for a fun conversation on why a lifestyle bucket list should be part of your journey and how sharing it will find you checking to-do’s off the list in no time! As always we get a little silly on this one and there a few times where we catch each other off guard with our commentary. That’s why we love doing our shows without a script – we get the best content that way!

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2 comments on “Episode 15 – the Lifestyle Bucket List

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  1. Booboojam Aug 12, 2015

    Great conversation. We like to split our list into three categories to help us have truly authentic conversations with each other. We have fantasies, desires and thoughts.

    Fantasies are things that really turn us on when we think about them, but we would never want them, or could have them, happen in real life. For instance, something that couldn’t be made safe in real life such as abduction, unprotected sex with a true stranger, etc. Great in the mind, but terrible in reality.

    Desires are what we really want to have happen and put on our bucket lists. It could be a once in a lifetime thing (sex on top of the CN tower) or just a desire for the evening. These are what we talk about pre and post parties – i.e. “so honey, what would you like to have happen tonight? Anyone you really want to connect with? Anyone you want to avoid?” and “so honey, how did the party go for you? What was the best thing that happened and what was something that was “blah”?

    Thoughts are just those and shouldn’t be mistaken for desires or fantasies unless explicitly stated as such. For example, “he/she is hot and I wonder what they are like in bed?” does not mean “damn I want to have sex with them”. Or “Wow, look at what that group is doing over on the bed” does not mean “honey, let’s go join them”.

    • Cindy Aug 12, 2015

      Exactly! Making those distinctions is very important. You want to initiate and continue free flowing conversations anyway/anytime you can. Establishing rules to avoid misconception is crucial. The quickest way to kibosh a connection is to misunderstand someone. If your partner seems shut down to communicating it could be as simple as not feeling heard. Or perhaps the times you’ve chosen to communicate haven’t worked for him/her. The biggest reason however will always be lack of communication habits. It’s possible for any relationship to improve their communication.

      The main thing is to check in and see what your partner actually means. Never assume. It takes time to establish a true understanding for sure. Those are awesome points you offered above. The most effective way to get to this level of true communication is practice. Practice and patience and the desire to really get into your lovers…..mind 😉

      Also consider carving out different times in your week to connect. Actually schedule it in and make it a priority. Right before bed while exhausted after a long day is not recommended for all your conversations. If however you are anything like me this may be a time when tons of inspiration floods in. It’s not wrong to chat at this time, just don’t make it your only time. It’s important to speak up and share with your partner when you want to revisit a topic at a different time of the day.

      Another fun way is to text one another. Yes there is a high level of misunderstanding through a text message, but if the inspirational fantasy pops in your mind, share it while it’s fresh. Just be sure to establish a quick a simple ‘Oh baby I can’t wait to chat more in person about this one’. OBICWTCMIPATO! perhaps? LOL

      Thank you so much for your comment BoobooJam! Keep up the great work.

      Love
      Cindy

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