Swinging destroyed my marriage – what a myth!

We hear time and time again from people who are not in the lifestyle that being a swinger or taking part in the lifestyle has broken up many marriages. We dispel this myth AND we let you in on a secret project we have in the works!

As always feedback rocks so please feel free to leave it below or reach out to us on the various social media websites we frequent – for the fastest response catch us on ITL – Intothelifestyle.com

XOXO

Cindy & James

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One comment on “Episode 34 – Swinging destroyed my marriage!

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  1. Swinging did not destroy my 15 year marriage. I did.
    My ex was honest with me at the start of our relationship. He’d been in the Lifestyle since his 20’s – was a swinger when we met. He gave it up for me. For five years we were monogamous.
    He never dropped hints or suggested we try swinging. He sometimes talked about it. Not the actual sex but the get together and the friendships. I never became angry. It was a piece of his life.
    By year 6 of our marriage we were talking about where we could go for an evening of fun. He suggested a swinger club in the city but was quick to assure me that he wasn’t talking about sex. He said a swingers club wasn’t a giant orgy, that there would be great drinks and dancing. He also said he’d enjoy introducing me to some old friends. He made sure I knew that nobody would grope me or try anything.
    I was reluctant but agreed to go because I saw how much he wanted to visit with his friends. He’d been honest. No one touched me other than to shake my hand in greeting. There was light flirtation but in a playful, non threatening way. To be honest, I was charmed by the people I met. They were kind and respectful.
    We began to meet certain friends for dinner or we’d go to the movies. Just friends meeting with nothing sexual. Until one couple invited us to a small house party they were having.
    Neither my ex nor I did anything at the party. During it all he stayed by my side. He never pushed or pressured me but I could tell a part of him missed it. I was still uncomfortable but hid it. I wanted him to spend time with the people he’d given up because of me.
    It happened so slowly and before I knew it we were active swingers.
    I never, not once, voiced my objections and my ex had questioned me repeatedly about us doing it. Each time I lied and said it was OK and that I was fine. But I wasn’t. I hated seeing him with other women. And while I did enjoy the sex with other men I later felt guilt and shame.
    We divorced last year. My silence had taken its toll. By the end I no longer loved him. I couldn’t stand it when he you he touched me. He begged me to attend marriage counseling with him. He swore we’d leave swinging behind. I said no.
    I never doubted his love for me and I know he still loves me. I hurt him terribly when I left. But it was too late.
    Swinging didn’t cause our divorce. My refusal to be honest did. I should have said no to it from the very start. I never should’ve agreed to go to the club that night. He wouldn’t have gotten angry. Instead I allowed things to happen and ended up ruining a great marriage and I hurt the kindest, most loving man.